Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Big Den


“He made us laugh and he made us cry”. (Thank You Colleen, for so eloquently capturing my Dad, his life and his impact on all of us). Such a simple phrase and yet holds so much truth.

Anyone who knew my Dad or was in his presence for a brief amount of time knew he loved to laugh. It was a loud and hearty laughter, the kind that makes your face turn red and your body shakes. Anyone who knew him also knew he was usually laughing at his own jokes & antics. He filled any room he entered with energy and noise. Timid he was not and I don’t think shy was in his vocabulary. He was loud, in your face, in your business and ...dare I say, a little bit nosey. However, it was these traits that I believe made him lovable.

My Dad made it into the hearts of almost anyone he met. He found his way in there and somehow, he stayed there. If he loved you, he made sure you knew it everyday. I never doubted my Dad’s love for his family or me. It was always there. His honesty, though sometimes brutal and unwarranted, was completely sincere. He wore his tired heart on his sleeve in such a brazen way. I admire that in people and I admired it in him.

Dennis had such a particular way of doing everything. Everything had its process, complete with its own set of little rules. So detailed, even down to the tiniest of ordinary tasks. If we ran low on mustard and the messy yellow bottle was squirting and sputtering with every squeeze, Jenna and I dare not throw it away! I can remember I got yelled at a few times and he’d take the plastic bottle of Gulden’s out of my hand, pull open the drawer, take out a sharp knife and cut the bottle in half to allow for easy access. We’d then proceed to scrape the plastic with a butter knife until it was gone.

My Dad was very hard worker. I think when did something – anything– it was in his nature to do it well. He not only taught me to work towards a goal, to earn good grades and better myself but, for a long time during my childhood, he showed me. For that I could never thank him enough.

From approximately the ages of 8-13, I could probably tell you every football team and the city that they represented. I was trained and drilled repeatedly and I would by lying if I said I didn’t love it. Every evening in the living room my dad and I would sit for hours and sharpen my skills, every team from the obscure and not so popular to his beloved EAGLES. If only they had won the Superbowl this year…his life, in his mind, would be complete. We’ll get ‘em next year Dad and we know you’ll be watching as the Birds take it home.

Everything that was truly my Dad – his meticulous nature, his booming voice, his infectious laugh and his understanding spirit, will always be with me and with all who loved him. The painful reality of his last few weeks is indeed hard to shake and unfortunately serves as a grim reminder of his weaknesses. He ran and ran and ran until his soul gave out. Yet he never ever stopped loving. He never wavered in his sincere love for his family, especially Jenna, my mom and I. My dad is someone who deserves to be cried for.

He leaves behind a loving Mother (Mom Mom Jeanne) and a courageous sister (Aunt Jeanne) both of whom are to be admired for their tremendous strength. He was very sadly predeceased by his father and his amazing brother (Uncle Jimmy), who I know if he were here today, would be a pillar of strength and stability.

As for Jenna, my mom and I, I know we’ll be OK. We watched him struggle and grow tired for a long time and I think how we can finally breathe a comfortable sigh of relief, for he is enjoying the ultimate peace.

In the movie “Shawshank Redemption”, the character Red is reflecting on the character of Andy Dufrane. He says:

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”

We, too, will miss our friend, brother, son and Dad.
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